#1 shisus disciple (sweetshisus) wrote,
#1 shisus disciple

atmosphere [1]

title: atmosphere
pairing: ken/hongbin (vixx)
rating: r
plot: ken is not here.
warnings: I didn't want to explicitly state them in case they seem spoilery but click here if you're interested.
author's note: this is really heavy....so pls proceed at your own caution ;o; also all the ken/hongbin moments were inspired by this gif. also, trying out a new fic writing style! hope it is to people's liking ;;;;;

part one. 683 words

I'm just a molecule of air
drifting in the atmosphere

jaehwan woke with a start. he was drenched in sweat, but when he touched the nape of his neck, all he felt was cool smooth skin underneath his fingertips. his whole body ached, like he had been run over by a semi in his sleep, and when he tried to sit up, his knees chattered with so much pain he was certain his bones had been rearranged overnight. something was wrong.

he could feel it as he strained to sit up, his arms nearly giving way as he climbed up to his full height. the hot sensation he had attributed to sweat  only moments before weighed down on him, turning suddenly soporific in a way that sweat had never felt before. he touched his skin again, but it was still cool. something was wrong.

his head rung so sharply he almost collapsed where he stood, but he was desperate to understand so he fought through the discomfort. jaehwan had never done well with unanswered questions, and this was no different. he had never felt so utterly alone, so utterly powerless, in his unknowing. something was wrong.

and that was when he began to see everything around him for the first time since he had opened his eyes. he had to fight the soundless gasp that nearly escaped from his battered body, but it wouldn't have mattered anyway.

he wasn't here. not anymore.

jaehwan's eyes slid over the wreckage in front of him, a crumpled mess of steel, aluminum, and glass. the engine, or what remained of it, was still smoking, and the air caught in his throat. he coughed, but like his gasp, no sound came out. he couldn't hear himself.

he didn't exist. not anymore.

sirens began to blare in the distance, but jaehwan didn't hear them. he was fixated on a flash of pale skin he had seen through the smoke, an arm, or maybe a leg. he moved forward, slipping through the air as if he were paper. all he could think about was finding that flash of pale skin, confirming what he already knew to be true.

he was unrecognizable, a mangled disaster pinned beneath the front wheel of the car. the flash of pale skin was his arm, jaehwan realized, and he thought to himself that he had never hated being right until this moment in his life.

no, not life. death.

as soon as the thought flitted away, he stood there, dry heaving, aimlessly struggling to catch a breath he couldn't take, because it hurt. it hurt so much more than anything jaehwan had ever felt before.

he wanted to be here.


the sirens were unbearable. jaehwan tried to block it out, tried to slip through the air to somewhere else, but he was rooted to the moment. all he could do was stare at himself and hurt.

he had gotten papercuts before. he had once cut his finger with a sharp knife when he was chopping up fruit as a snack. he had put a nice little band-aid on his finger and watched the blood seep through but just barely. he wasn't squeamish.

but blood had never seemed so terrifying before. he had never wanted to run away from it until this moment, and he couldn't run fast enough. it was all over him. it was spilling out of him.

the red of the sirens was suddenly barreling through the smoke, and he could see an ambulance. men were running now, with their first-aid kits and their walkie-talkies. something was wrong.

another car was screeching its brakes from a few feet away. the doors opened, and all too familiar figures were spilling out onto the road. running. crying. choking. screaming.

things jaehwan would never do again.

they were screaming his name but one voice rang out above the rest. it was fraught with terror and devastation and love and jaehwan's heart seized in his chest. he had dedicated his life to ensuring that voice would never sound so broken.


part two
Tags: fic, hongbin, ken, multipart : atmosphere, vixx
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